100%

"Well they said they wanted equal rights." That is what some old fart said to me, while I struggled to bring in two heavy  truck rotors that I was delivering to his shop. He made that statement because I was seeking some help and I was a woman delivering heavy auto parts that he didn't want to help me with. He reminded me of a backwoods jack ass from the movie Deliverance. I responded to him that I did not make that decision that it was made for me. I went back to my car and after calling him every foul name that I could think of I smiled to myself and became more at peace with something that I had been feeling for a quite awhile...and that is I am ready to be taken care of 100%.

I have always said that when I started this crappy survival job that it took up too much of my time. Time that I could be devoting to working on my dream and my destiny, I would love nothing more than to stay at home and write. When I was able to do it all was right with the world. I would get up in the morning as if getting ready for work I would make my coffee and my breakfast and still in my pajamas go to the dining room table  and start working on my book or I would go to my corner spot on the sofa with my notebook and write out my next chapter. I was in heaven. But I took it for granted and the Universe had to bring me back down to earth. I can say that I have learned my lesson, I have humbled  myself.

Now back to this 100% I started talking to several of my sista friends about my want and need and to my surprise they all gave a resounding "girl you have never lied, me too." We all agreed that at this point in our lives we have paid some dues. We have slayed the beast brought it home prepared it fed it to family, raised our children (whom all became ungrateful adults...they are the entitlement generation) been partners to our men, have gone through bad relationships and some of us have gone through a divorce or two bottom line we are ready to exhale. No I don't mean going back to the Ward and June Cleaver days "Oh! Ward I have kept your house, cooked your food, washed your clothes, and been the perfect mother to Wally and the Beav and now I am asking what do I do now since I don't have a brain of my own or should I say not allowed to use it." What I mean is someone who is supportive and understanding and who has your back 100%. That person who wants you to reach your dreams and goals I guess the best way I can say it is, there was a part in a Tyler Perry movie called Diary of a Mad Black Woman and in it Shemar Moore's character told Kimberly Elise's character "all you have to do is wake up in the morning and I'll take care of the rest." That is it for me, that is what I need. I am done with emasculating men I don't have anything to prove I know what I can do on my own and I know who I am. I may have said this in one of my past blogs and i will say it again I am ready to be vulnerable and let a man feel like a man. I think that I am just admitting what a lot of women don't want to admit even though they think about it on a regular basis. I admit it, embrace it, and cherish the thought.  Till next time

drea D.