Fifty...fifty...fifty. That's me saying that word over and over again trying to get used to saying it and accepting it. Why? well because this fall I will turn 50. Here so soon? This morning while sitting on my bed watching Hulu on my note book it hit me like a thump to the back of my head "damn this is the year" I said out loud to myself and a small sense of panic came over me and I jumped out of bed and stood in front of the mirror with my mouth open and panting "what, what , what" and then the panic was over.
I am almost looking forward to it because I know that the second half of my life is finally going to come full circle, it is time. My life is just beginning and nothing but good things are ahead. I am looking forward to feeling that peace of mind that two of my friends are feeling. Diane who has been my friend for now over forty years has cleaned house from her difficult son to her lovelorn room mate is gone. And her daughter better not even think of coming back home. She turned 50 this past November and soon after when on a romantic adventure to Italy. Then there is Donna my friend and hair stylist she turned the big 5-0 in October and with both daughters out of the house one who is grown with children the other is in her first year of college. Well her and her husband are taking advantage of being empty nesters they are traveling and their sex life has never been better, they have even opened up the doors if you get my drift.
Yeah life is going to be good. I would have never thought that at this point in my life that I would be a struggling writer without some of the creature comforts that I have been used to all of my life. But I am reinventing myself so that I can live the fulfilling life that is my destiny. I have found my life's purpose not just being a writer but being of help to others when they come to me for advice or a listening ear. I have been told that I am a comfort and a joy. And that lets me know that I am on the right track. With my team the Balto. Ravens going to the superbowl after twelve years and me going through this season of hardship that is making me reach for a higher level in my life, turning 50 is going to be well what can say but "cool." Till next time.
drea D
