What The Hell!

     For the last I will not say how many years I have been in  a self imposed relationship exile. All I wanted was friends with benefits, no strings, everything light, nothing heavy. It was something necessary that I had to do. Well after doing me for an extended period of time I am ready to share my life long term. But it has not been as easy as all that, I seem to be a man repellent. True I have been out of the game for a long time...but damn!!! I feel like a neanderthal.
     The men look and they smile, and some even speak and I do the same in return but that is as far as it has gotten. One man took a look at me and ran. No I am not an ugly woman with three heads and an eye in the middle of my forehead, so I am saying ...what the hell!!! Anyway after giving it some very long thought I decided to join an on-line dating site, and to give my self a better chance with things I have decided to broaden my horizons, so it is an interracial site. I posted my profile and a nice picture, and the hits have been coming in, so much so that I have been picked as a favorite. I have corresponded with men of all different races and cultures, and some seem very amusing and refreshing but still I have not made a connection. And that is understandable these things take time and I realize that I may never find my Mr. Wonderful on this site or any other (I am not joining another).
     Last week while on the phone talking to one of my sister friends, and we were talking about one of our favorite topics (guess?)...men and how finding one of substance seems to be a fairytale, and that in my case my breast and my lips are still taking center stage. My twenty seven year old son over heard this and said "Ma you have to bring your sexy back."  "What???" I said "Yeah ma, I have noticed that you have become some what prudish, and very Gloria Steinum." He told that I need to chill and pull out the femme fatale and accept and appreciate the compliments and be glad that men still see a need to give them to me. He also said that the most attractive thing in the world is being with a woman who understands the dynamics of a man. Well out of the mouths of babes.
      Men are visual, this is something that I have known forever, but like a lot of women , refuse to accept it. You see as I have gotten older I figured that there is more to me than just my breast and my lips, and that a man of substance is going to be looking at my inner more than my outer (foolish me). The young man is right, a man of substance is just as visual as a man who is a piece of crap, their just different in character. Bottom line a man is a man.
     Since that conversation, I have done some tweaking and I have toned some things down a bit and become  more approachable and I must say I do see a difference.  Not only have I gotten long stares and smiles but I have been approached. I have not made the connection that I am looking for yet, but it is a start. Thanks Jerome! this is one conversation that I am glad you overheard. Till next time.

drea D