GOODY BYE 2012!!!

Good bye 2012 I will not be sad to see you go! Take with you every negative entity that was part of your years tenure. This has been a year of pain, disappointment, hardship, backsliding, heartache and every other bad thing that one can think of. The only thing good about you 2012 is that Obama got re-elected. Other than that you have been a bitch. I am looking forward to 2013, no I don't know what it will bring but I have hope yes hope that the positive will prevail. What the world needs now is love sweet love its the only thing that we can't get enough of.

drea D

Many Thanks

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone. A day and a half in the company of good family and friends was enough to remind me that the universe is on my side, giving me what I need to sustain and move forward. I spent almost two days in Harford County, Maryland and on my way to and fro I thought about the fact that even though I may be going through life's shit yet again I know that I could be a lot worse off. I saw various people standing on the side of the road holding the signs of poverty and despair with nothing and nowhere to go, not just for the holiday but nowhere at all. My mind went to my crappy survival job that I know is a temporary situation but it is giving me what I need to maintain while I work on making my dreams come true.  I celebrate the fact that my son is healthy and well and so am I. Yes another Thanksgiving has come and gone. And for reasons only known to myself and the universe, this year more than any other of the past I give many thanks.

drea D

Committed Compaionship

Recently I went out for a girls nite out with one of my oldest and dearest friends. While in route to have drinks at Howl at the Moon Piano Bar, and then strolling over to catch Liam Neeson's new movie Taken 2 one our conversations turned to what else men and relationships (it would'nt be a girls nite out if those two things were not mentioned at least once). Anyway she had told me of a friend of hers recent date debacle and I thought of my own recent situations with the opposite sex and a sense of relief came over me---why? Well because I finally came to peace with a decision that I have made and feel passionate about, it is called Committed Companionship. I felt so empowered with my decision that I blurted out the fact that I do not want to get married again, it is too much hard work, that at this point in my life I am no longer interested in doing, if things can't be eazy breezy then by all means pass me by. My very married best friend took a pause then admitted the truth, "yes, yes it is hard work." I watch my friend and I know what she goes through at forty eight years of age she not only is a working woman but she has to contend with a husband, a ten year old daughter and a dog that she totally can't stand, i do not envy her. Now these are things that most of us women do I have also done the same things raising a family but I was in my twenties when I started and my energy level was at a all time high but now I see the dullness in my friends eyes where there used to be such brightness and light, bottom line she is tired, bone tired. Now don't get me wrong marriage can be a wonderful institution if that is what you want but I do not feel that I have to want to be Mrs. Somebody in order to be a whole person, I am that already all on my own. My thing now is to share this whole person with someone one on one. A compatible open minded man who understands my need to have him live and sleep at his own home, and that I am not washing his clothes nor cooking for him on a regular basis. Or feel the need to check in with him at every possible moment. He will need to understand that I like girlfriend getaways and I expect him to do the same. But I want him to know that he has adventure, respect, wonderful quiet times, support, love and most of all a best friend. Now that to me is all the marriage i need. Committed Companionship may not be for everyone and not all will agree with me but two each his own, whatever works best for you is what you should do as long as it brings you the joy that you seek. Happiness is fleeting but pure joy is much longer lasting. Till next time...drea D

Another Year

Hello my fellow readers. It has been awhile since my last post. As a matter fact it has been five months. Life had gotten a hold of me and put me in a bad head space, my blog is about reinvention and fulfillment and what I was going through had left me feeling negative and I did want to bring that energy to my blog. But life is looking better, this past week I celebrated my forty ninth birthday and I'm feeling good. Of course there is some dings and dongs going on like some extra pounds that just won't seem to go away which forces me to upgrade my work out practices, I get up a little slower from the sitting position and my tolerance level for things that don't make since is at an all time low. My adult son gets on my nerves on a regular basis and I walk away from men who come out of there mouths with the same old tired lines. But all and all I am feeling better about things, I feel good and I look good. On my recent journey I realized that the universe had to take a hold  of my life once again and put me back on track. I have had to go back to work, not at my previous job that I hated but to a survival job that keeps me focused on pursuing my dream as a writer. It's motivational, you know sometimes you have to do what you have to do to survive in order to do what it is you were created to do. I'm working hard on my first novel and have set a deadline for having it finished and start the ball rolling. While I have been at this job I have met the wife of an author of four published books and have recently started their own publishing company that I have added to my goto list when I am ready to start the process. I have also met some wonderful people, truly salt of the earth. These folks have had my back in some of my most difficult of times I owe them all a world of gratitude. I have a deeper motivation and my faith is stronger God has truly showed me that I do need him and that he is here for me. I know that he will give me what I need when I need it all I have to do is stay faithful. I am and I will. I have also learned to trust myself more, before I would let self doubt ruin that trust in me but no more. I have stopped having so much fear and I'm using the things that I have learned over the past several years  to stop back sliding. I had thought that I had had the bull by the horns and was ready to move forward, well I was ready to move forward but I still had some kinks to work out with myself. Put it like this God had to reel me in and set me straight. I am so glad that he did. Well no more depressing blogs or thoughts on to more reinvention and fulfillment I's am so ready for the ride. Till next time
Drea D
P.S. It's good to be back.

Family, To Forgive Or Not To Forgive...It Depends.

     My last post was filled with pain and disbelief, I had been wronged. Now ordinarily I would have let this go by now but this has put such an  horrendous glitch in my life that is has put my survival in question. And the thing is I am an innocent party who has become a victim of one mans hurt, fragile ego. What has me spinning the most is that we are family and we were taught the same values and respect for family.
     You know the old saying that family is the one who will stick the knife in you the hardest and the deepest. I have been a listening ear for many of my friends who have been wronged by a family member and each one of them felt the same as I did, utter disbelief. And as time goes on they put it in the back of their minds and forgive and forget for the sake of family...why? Because that is what they have been taught, to let someone slap the shit  out of you and turn the other cheek because you are a better person and they are FAMILY...bullshit.
     Within the last several years I have come to believe that some of those old passive teachings that we were taught growing up does not hold water in today's world. Now I can't blame the parents because that is what they were taught and perhaps they found out later in life like I did that things are not that black and white that the grey area does exist. My family the Boyds always had a motto that we are family and we are all that we have,and we have to love and cherish and be there for one another. And that is how I have always felt about my family, until now.
     Don't get me wrong I am not holding my entire family accountable for one person's actions but when it comes to that forgiving and forgetting crap not this time, not when you maliciously put my life and survival in jeopardy and worse yet will not own up to what you did that is the act of a coward. While I try to repair some of the damage that has been done I can only hope that my family member gets the help he needs so that he can have a peaceful life. I will rebound and I will continue to move forward this will not stop my life's progress but one thing is for sure I will forever keep my distance. Well until next time share the love.

drea D

WHEW,DAMMIT!

Again it has been awhile since my last blog. That is because life has been doing its thing. After going through a season of goodness and joy, the season has taken a turn. Yes life is full of adversities and as long as we are alive we will go through from time to time I get that, but it seems that when it happens I am never prepared. For the last few years I have been on a new journey as I have talked about in my past blogs. The journey has been something revitalizi and positive I thought that "hey my life is finally going the way that I have always imagined, I was on the path of my life's purpose. Then all of the sudden BANG! up jump the boogey. Murphy's Law has invaded my life. I am cashed strapped I recently had to take a job that is definitely less than what I am used to, I really have to hustle. Then a family member stabbed me so deep that I am still reeling from it and things are piling up and I can't do anything about them and did I mention that my love life is still non-existent. But the part that really bothers me is that my passion and dreams have once again taken a back seat to life's bullshit. I am deep into writing my first novel and it is good but I have not been able to put pen to paper lately because I am trying to survive. I have already been down this road time and time again and here I go again back down once more. Now I know that everybody is going through something and I feel for us all but I am so ready to exhale that I really can't think of any ones else's problems I don't want to. That has been one of my problems in the past worrying about other people's shit and ignoring my own just to make them feel better. Those days have been over for a long time for me. I have to take care of drea. So once again I start over or is it starting over or is it me still moving forward. That remains to be seen as I will not give up and I will not stop pursuing my passion I have come to far. Well let me stop here I just needed to vent, it helps. So until next time lets pray for each other.          drea D

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Happy New Year to my fellow readers! How was your holiday? Mine was great, it was full of celebrations with family and friends. 2011 is now a thing of the past. It was a year of many blessings all of which I am so grateful for. And this year the blessings are going into overdrive.

It is already coming in with a bang! For one, I made it to see another year and I have my good health and the second thing, my beloved Baltimore Ravens had a great season and is going to the playoffs with eyes on the Superbowl prize. So I say welcome 2012.

I didn't make any new year resolutions, I stopped doing that several years ago because it was too much pressure and I would end up breaking each and every one of them and feeling like I had failed myself in some way, so the heck with the resolutions. I now take it one day at time and go with the flow knowing that the goals that I have set for myself will be reached. "If it is to be, then it is up to me" that is my new mantra for myself this year.

I am going to continue to reach for my dream and live my passions. My dream is to finish writing my book with the hopes of getting it published and to keep traveling to the places that I desire (so that I can write the best stories ever) that is my passion. But overall to have financial success and to keep my personal freedom.

Now I do have a more personal goal and that is to have Mr. Wonderful finally find me ( I have had enough alone time). With the universe working its magic all things are possible. I am in total trust mode, how about you?

So here is to all of you including my family and friends. I wish you the best year possible. Much love,success, and joy and that each of us can live our lives on our own terms. As long as we stay positive and keep an open mind to all of the wonderful possibilities that this life has to offer, then the world is our oyster. So happy  2012 and much love from me to you.

Luv ya!
drea D